No matter what the reason is, I think it has its own purpose
I have typed a long post last night and it just disappeared now. I do not understand why and I was frustrated but finally, I decide to type it again now. Perhaps, this may helps me to realize something else like last night.
Well, we faced crisis lately, just these two days. I got very depressed and my heart is troubled. I am not sure is it solved already now, but one thing I am sure is, I would have to change. If I do not request so much from him, I will not be disappointed, in contrast, I will be even happier, always feeling contented and grateful with what I have. It is the same in every case, once you desires something, you will have to be worried whether you'll be able to get the things you want, and if you don't, you will be down, and blame for not having it. Have you ever felt this? I never understand it like I do now, I mean, I knew this theory long ago, but I just knew, I did not understand its true meaning. In this relationship as well, I did not see how much he has given me, I just saw I do not get what i desires. What is the consequence then? I am getting more unhappy, unsatisfied, suffering and upset. All the negative thoughts.
I am such an ungrateful girl, doesn't he still tell me he loves me every day? Doesn't him still reply me like he always do? Doesn't he put me in a very important place still? What more should I ask? He is right, this relationship is also about finding ourselves. But it took me days to understand that. Thinking about this, I am very grateful suddenly. He could have told me " we could not see the same thing anymore, why not we break up now". He did not say so. Instead, he is still here, he still cared for me.
I cried, when I expect him to do sth and he did not do that. But finally, at night when we talk, I finally realize how silly I was and how ignorant I was. Just a simple question I asked long ago, and he kept it in his heart, though it was not something I asked for this year, yet, I am so touched. He showed me his love and care in such a modest way, which I did not know how to appreciate. I felt ashamed, my love is so demanding. But his, is so mature compared to me.
I thank the LORD for blessing me all these while. There are times I could have lost this relationship He has given me. Yet, He has blessed us, and help us to overcome all the conflicts. Oh God, I pray that I will be able to really change and do what I should do. Help me not to take for granted all the effort he has put in this relationship, so that I will not live in remorse and sorrows one day.
He is really a nice boy, and he takes very good care of me.. Hmm.. ><
Well, we faced crisis lately, just these two days. I got very depressed and my heart is troubled. I am not sure is it solved already now, but one thing I am sure is, I would have to change. If I do not request so much from him, I will not be disappointed, in contrast, I will be even happier, always feeling contented and grateful with what I have. It is the same in every case, once you desires something, you will have to be worried whether you'll be able to get the things you want, and if you don't, you will be down, and blame for not having it. Have you ever felt this? I never understand it like I do now, I mean, I knew this theory long ago, but I just knew, I did not understand its true meaning. In this relationship as well, I did not see how much he has given me, I just saw I do not get what i desires. What is the consequence then? I am getting more unhappy, unsatisfied, suffering and upset. All the negative thoughts.
I am such an ungrateful girl, doesn't he still tell me he loves me every day? Doesn't him still reply me like he always do? Doesn't he put me in a very important place still? What more should I ask? He is right, this relationship is also about finding ourselves. But it took me days to understand that. Thinking about this, I am very grateful suddenly. He could have told me " we could not see the same thing anymore, why not we break up now". He did not say so. Instead, he is still here, he still cared for me.
I cried, when I expect him to do sth and he did not do that. But finally, at night when we talk, I finally realize how silly I was and how ignorant I was. Just a simple question I asked long ago, and he kept it in his heart, though it was not something I asked for this year, yet, I am so touched. He showed me his love and care in such a modest way, which I did not know how to appreciate. I felt ashamed, my love is so demanding. But his, is so mature compared to me.
I thank the LORD for blessing me all these while. There are times I could have lost this relationship He has given me. Yet, He has blessed us, and help us to overcome all the conflicts. Oh God, I pray that I will be able to really change and do what I should do. Help me not to take for granted all the effort he has put in this relationship, so that I will not live in remorse and sorrows one day.
He is really a nice boy, and he takes very good care of me.. Hmm.. ><
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